Self Exploration (day 40) – Love

We all want to be wanted, but is this love? I don’t think so. I think love is the other way around. I think that love is to shower something with my love. I think lust is the other way around: to be wanted, and to have that want fulfilled.

This means that love is what I give to the world, what I give to you. Therefore, love is in my patience, my trust, my consideration, my sincerity, my honesty, my openness, my kindness, my intention. By understanding how I can uniquely give this kind of love to myself, in all aspects and fully aware, then I can make my unique love imprint on those around me.

To build love, I feel that the more senses shared, the more powerful love is. I think this is why looking somebody in the eye is so powerful, or touching them on the shoulder, or projecting a pleasant fragrance. This is why in the digital world, online, I can never completely delivers this love, nor can I be the recipient of somebody else’s love.

I think it’s dangerous to feel like somebody else should love me. Nobody should do anything, let alone to or for me, but I feel that opening myself up to receiving love is also an important part of love in itself. To be able to receive love is also an act of love. Have you ever tried to shower love on somebody, and had it completely ignored or brushed off? Sure, we’re all entitled to do what we wish, and of course some peoples definitions of what showering love is can really ignore personal boundaries, but it does feel good for me when somebody accepts and acknowledges my love that I’m trying to give. Like petting a dog under the chin, when they half close their eyes and make their chin easier to scratch, it makes you feel good about what you’re doing, doesn’t it?

………………

Is it smart to expect love from anybody? Perhaps the phrase: ‘expect the worst’ should be used here. If I don’t expect love from anybody, when I am given love, will it be much more valuable for me? Will I notice it more? I worry this will make me bitter.

It would, however, be silly of me to attempt to engage in an intimate partnership with somebody without this mutual expression of love. When this mutual expression of love ceases to flow seamlessly from me to you and back again, I guess this indicates the end. Why would I stay in a relationship that’s not built solidly upon a foundation of love?

I’ve talked on day 18 about Love, but I felt that I needed to dig into it a little bit more as I was only just petting the surface.

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