Self Exploration (day 5) – Truth

I have justified with myself that there are some forms of judgement that are good, and some that are bad. For instance, judging the speed of a moving car can save my life. Judging a positive person from a toxic person can save me many hours of wasted breath.

I do acknowledge that no truth left untested is hardly solid.

When I refer to judgment, I think a more commonly acceptable word with much less negative emotions is observation.

I believe there are two forms of observation. One form can help save lives, time, and direct my effort in the most effective way possible. Being trained as an engineer and a problem solver, I typically work this way. The other is the book cover trap. Judging a book by it’s cover. Untruths based on zero facts is a horrible form of judgement. Judging a person I’m walking by as having a cane or wheelchair and thus needing a wide birth to avoid a collision is what I would call a truthful judgement.

The two forms of observation definitely get discombobulated and misunderstood sometimes. It’s hard for me to also release the negative connotations on a word, and I’d be silly not to recognize many people also have those.

I often find that it’s not my judgment in of itself that brings me suffering, it’s people judging me for my judgment. Like I said, discombobulating.

I’ve recently been reading a book called: The Wisdom Of Yoga, A Seeker’s Guide to Extraordinary Living by Stephen Cope. In the book, there was a part where the group was sitting around and one of the seekers had an epiphany and breakdown at the same time.

Or maybe it was just me that had the breakdown. She had the epiphany that launched the next few years of her truths. She discovered that she was actually lying. Always lying. Little things, big things, good lies, bad lies.

It made me think about what my truth is. How many things do I do because I’ve felt it was the right thing to do? What do I do that is actually from my deepest truths?

The depth of this is still something I’m unable to articulate but definitely uncovering, but I have started asking myself: is this truth?