Self Exploration (day 16) – Goals

My hesitation to fully commit is a result of waiting for the commitment to happen to me. I think it’s a belief that one day I’ll look out upon the ocean and see my ship coming in. This is a sign of my lack of effort, non-effective goals, and a fear of actually achieving what I want to achieve.

It’s a vicious cycle but I believe by it being a cycle necessarily means that I reflect back upon it and transform my thought gradually each time through awareness, learning.

I’m learning a lot these days about intention.

I believe in goal setting and breaking those goals down to achieve what I want to do. When I hack away at these goals like an eager neighbor with hedge trimmers, I call this my success.

I like success, in whatever way I define it. Some days it may align with society’s norm, other days it’s contrary. To me, this is awareness. I’m conscious of what I’m doing and why I’m doing it, most of the time. Sometimes I plan it thoroughly with the future in mind, other times after accomplishing my goals I realize how my larger goals have shifted and what I’ve done has simply been a learning experience.

Growing pains. They’re natural.

I set my goals in moments of inspiration. Moments when I’m alive and feeling good and have some insight into my path. When I break those goals down into smaller goals with repetitive tasks, they collectively set me flying towards my larger goals. I build myself a strategy that – even in my bad days where the lizard brain is taking over – I can look at without much resistance and start crossing off items.

I have learned that the physical joy of seeing a crossed off list of tasks is a pleasure of mine. I have also learned that I’m in this for the long haul. I don’t anticipate overnight success. I try to do things that in 30 years I’m pretty sure I’ll still look forward to doing.

My goals almost always begin with my personal and professional mission statement. These are documents I brainstorm on, strategically. Much like a business plan. In these mission statements, I break my goals down and process ideas that gives me a dynamic document and action plan to look back upon in the future – when motivation requires it – to re-assess and modify according to the new knowledge I’ve gathered. Learning through execution.

Reflection is necessary, so is silence; space to grow that inner thought and nurture that inner voice out onto paper I feel is critical to grow into the human I want to become.

I say ‘become’ because in essence I’m not satisfied. I have an unquenchable desire to grow and learn every part of me as a being.

Goals help me focus my attention strategically, by proxy, passively, and directly. All of it. Yes, I believe goals are that good.