Self Exploration (day 12) – Right and Wrong

Right, wrong, good, bad. These are defined mostly by culture. These are defined by my parents, brothers, friends. I am part of culture. I have a family and am building a tribe. I must recognize these common definitions to be able to live within culture, for I do want to live within culture. I like her fiery whims. This means I must be aware.

Being aware of this contradicts my flow at times, my freedom. I’m told I shouldn’t express myself so much. I’m told I shouldn’t expose myself so much. I’m told nudity is bad, secrets are good, jealousy is bad, bigger is better, coveting is bad but more is better. Money money money. I’m told greed is wrong and green is right.

I’m not sure I should listen to what this mystery culture character says I should or shouldn’t do exclusively. Personally, I’ve been digging into this for a while, trying to navigate my path as skillfully as I can. I need to listen to what my right and wrongs are.

In fact, I’ve noticed that the more I expose myself and the more I share of myself, the more I feel liberated and calmed at the same time. I am slowly realizing that resisting to do something I want to do because of some standard of right is as ridiculous as cursing the weather for being weathery. Sharing and doing what I want to is freedom.

The hard part I’m learning is that I must be the one to push these boundaries in my quest to understand, for my awareness. This project is definitely touching on what my boundaries are, without a doubt. Freedom isn’t everything, and in many ways it might just be illusory for me. I also value intention and awareness. If I’m being completely free, am I still being aware of repercussions of my actions and how they effect my tribe?

This cloak of my boundaries is thick for me, being solidified for years. This is part of what I would call my ego. Much like knowing how to use my tools, I think it’s important for me to be aware of the limitations of my ego. Knowing this can help me recognize my character points, my resistance, my uniqueness that causes me suffering and work on them.

This is my commitment as a human.