Self Exploration (day 45 + 2) – End // Gratitude

Well, my friends, this is the end of the Self Exploration project. Those of you that have read these, thank you for taking a few moments to read my thoughts. I hope some of them you were even able to connect with. Those of you that have liked seeing my portrait pop up on your screen, I thank you as well for clicking that like button.

It seems fitting I contemplate gratitude.

A wise person once told me that an even wiser person knows how to graciously accept gratitude. It makes sense to me. If a friend gulps down their fear and walks up to me to acknowledge awesomeness of my actions, imagine their relief when I receive their compliment with grace and gratitude?

Truth be told, if even one person gracefully accepts my gratitude I give it encourages me beyond belief to keep up acknowledging others.

I know how good a big gratitude puddle feels.

Have you ever spent five minutes going back and forth with another human both so eager to acknowledge that other person’s awesomeness that you forget to even acknowledge what they just said to you?! There’s nothing truer and more connecting then this moment.

Some friends and family have acknowledged that the words I have shared in this project have been powerful. This is what I have wanted from the start, and warms my heart just thinking about this; I wanted people to say hello, and without much small talk dive deep into conversation with me. Because of this project, I have made new friends with an immediate strong bond. I have also lost a few subscribers on my maillist, but also gained some.

This Self Exploration project started after feeling disconnected both with myself and with my words and photographs. I have spoken mostly about things that are dominating my mind right now, working my way through thoughts as well as documenting my current philosophy.


I didn’t plan my topics other then taking a misplaced sentence and starting a new day with that new topic. I’ve found myself really trying to find something to share that is a deep truth, and to excitedly recognize when I have found the word(s) that exemplifies what I’ve wanted to say.

Tomorrow I move out of the house I have called my home for over a year now, and begin a new chapter in my life. I leave behind a lover, a snake, and a mother. As I cycled and wandered the streets of Vancouver today, I was sad recognizing the relationship I’ve built with my friends of this city and how fond I’ve become of one of the finest places in the world to live, recognizing quite fully the fact that we don’t get two chances in this game called time.

They say that it takes 40 days to develop a new habit, so I went with 45 days. No, I am not a whole new me. I smell the same, enjoy the same foods, exercise the same body… I am the same me with a bit more awareness and a bit less shyness to speak my truth.

Perhaps the greatest lesson I’ve learned has been the silliness of not following my intuition. As I have exposed myself, there has been no masked man standing by to strike me down. None. Not even a slightly grumpy man.

Step boldly my friends, step forth with each intentional step and thought and with confidence because there is absolutely no reason to hold back from what we desire to do.

“To be or not to be is not a question of compromise. Either you be or you don’t be.” ~ Golda Meir


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