Found in the archives, in an old website dated 2004.
Upon My Hands I Look
I wish that when the seasons came together, embrace would be felt. Not only the tiny embraces like little chipmunks gathering shells, or bears frolicking through double length grass. But I mean a spreading of the seas for the welcoming of the tide. Is not welcome to be warm? Is not beginning supposed to be celebrated? Do all species ever gather to celebrate annuity, in there own and special way? So should not gathering of two people be celebrated with the same amount of vigor as a valiant goal? Why do these thoughts persist in my mind. I have been told, held, felt, and breathed with embrace, yet I still gather these pests in my brain. Do they gather rain? or do they allow for the flow to be steady enough to enable growth? Is it possible that another force can act in the way of love, to distract someone so much that not passion be enabled, and pity overwhelming? Do not let mind flow in that direction my love. Is it ok to forget past, not worry about future, and begin fresh. Why would anybody fall into a state of being to contradict this? Would the soul excuse the absence of mind to allow pleasure? What says that the beginning of the end cannot be a intersection with many long out, one road that is enjoyed, for this is my path I wish to follow, and will not deter from. I do not wish to conform any state that crosses my path, but I wish to embrace every soul and cherish it. Conformity is impersonal, why then do some feel they want to mold the seasons? Why do I feel I want to mold the seasons? Do I want to etch some form of comfortness, belonging, joy, help, experience? Would you persist if you felt mold upon your skin? Or would you rather embrace it? What is beauty? What form and shape does beauty come in? Does it even exist in reality? Is it not ones personal opinion, which therefore is real and exists? But then this would not be beauty then it would be a mold. Or is there something so pure that no mold has touched beauty, and straight from ‘nothing’ it has existed. Has it not been inadvertently fooled into thinking? Should meditation be allowed to help? Or will this cause conformity? If so, is conformation applied to ones mind, or has mind conformed body? Who speaks conformity? Who out there, is the source of conformation? Why is life expanded into this phase of conformity, Is there ever a new source, or has all been interpreted?
please help me understand.
© 2004 Ned Tobin
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